Where are the Kids?

In a publication this week by Pittsburgh Presbytery, one of the presbytery staff members asks and attempts to answer the questions:

Why aren’t families coming back to church? Where are the kids?

I think he is looking in the wrong places.  The church that I am most familiar with, that I served for 23 years, has an abundance of kids that show up every Sunday, take part in Sunday school, come forward for the children sermon, and are involved in the greater life of the church. There’s no perceptible difference between the number of children participating now, and the number of children participating before the coronavirus. I attribute that to the faith and constancy of the families, and the outstanding leadership of the professional and volunteer providers of children’s ministry at the church.

Can their efforts be duplicated elsewhere? It is a question that remains to be seen. It must be taken on a case by case basis.

Certainly having an outstanding professional person on staff to create and direct children’s ministry can go a long way. The church of which I speak has this and more in its D C E.

There can - in contrast - be those who have a good theological background and who bring good content, but don’t have a personal appeal that connects with the children. If they don’t have that, then they might just as well not have the other things. In the church that I served here in Florida, the Director of Christian Education has that and more. As did others in that role in other churches I served.  It has a lot to do with why the children are there. The parents sense the unconditional positive regard, the depths of faith, and the spark of creativity that it takes to make children feel seen and welcome. It is a  tremendous asset, and one that cannot be easily defined. People either have these gifts, or they do not. And I’m not sure that they can be taught or cultivated. Perhaps they can.

What does it mean to have a group of parents who are especially focused on creating involvement at the church so that the children can learn and grow in the faith? 

Read that sentence over a couple of times and realize that I’m not saying that we have a group of parents who are committed to having someone else do for them what they should be involved in themselves. It's hands-on parents, in the situation I’m speaking of. They make children’s faith formation their priority. They make time for it, they share in the doing of it, and they speak to the children appreciatively about it. Not only that, but as a group of parents, they keep each other accountable in this regard. In an era in which no one wants to be accountable for anything, that alone is worth its weight in gold.

If you find that your church does not have these elements, then you are probably wondering where the children of God have gone.

Questions concerning mask wearing and vaccination aside, these things are what it takes to have an ongoing program where children are welcome.

There’s probably a lot more that should be said about attitude. The  attitude is not, "We hope one day eventually they will show up". But rather, "We know they’re going to come". Does it sounds simplistic? Does it sound optimistic? Maybe it’s both of those things, but mostly it’s an attitude of trust, and expectation.

When we look at the Bible, we see that God's people are all about trust and expectation. 

In fact you can find that theme on every page of the Bible. Even some otherwise boring long passages of genealogy, or how to design the furniture for the Temple. Oh yes, even in some of those arcane ritualistic laws that most modern people forget about (unless one or the other of them provides fodder for some pet argument they are engaged in).

But I digress.  On every page of scripture, people are hopeful. On every page of scripture, people are expectant.  On every page of scripture, people trust in the Lord.

During a different kind of a crisis that we now call the Reformation, one of the church leaders that we look back to for guidance and direction had a similar approach. His personal motto was: The Lord will provide. 

Where did he get that? Of course, he got it from the account of Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac. There they were, heading out into the scrub, to offer a sacrifice. But there was no sacrificial lamb. Isaac asked his father. "Where is the lamb for the sacrifice?" And Abraham said, "The Lord will provide". And the Lord did provide. It was an 11th hour moment, to be sure.  But there was a lamb, stuck in a bush.  The point of the matter is the Lord did provide.

Trust that the Lord is going to provide for you, and then go ahead and do all the things that you need to do anyway. Faithfully. Trustingly. Expectantly. Hopefully. Move forward. And sacrifice something of yourself. Put your whole self into the effort. If it’s a children’s ministry, ask yourself. "How can I help make that happen? Can I teach or lead a fellowship group? Can I provide snacks for special events? Can I be a chaperone? Can I tell the person that we’re employee in the church they’re doing a good job. And can I do that on a regular basis to help them know that what they’re doing it soon and appreciate it?"

And what’s the opposite of that?  I hate to even mention it because of course it shows a lack of faith. A wringing of the hands. A wondering if God is going to do some thing. Wondering if God is going to answer prayers. And then taking the personal stance, "Well if nothing's happening I’m going to do nothing, too."

How ridiculous is that, really?

Now, some of you are going to tell me that going through Covid is kind of like going through a tunnel. Before we went through the tunnel, everything was bright and sunny. There was a path, and we knew how to find it. We knew where we were going. And then all the sudden we were plunged into this dark place, where we really didn’t have much of an ability to see where we were going, it was hard to get our bearings. Are you with me so far? It feels like Covid, doesn’t it?

Okay, what do we know about a tunnel? We know it is not a cave. Eventually we’re going to come out the other end. And what do we see at the other end? A whole new landscape opens up to us, doesn’t it? There may be things on that side we never dreamed of or imagined. It might be a sort of wonderland. A land of milk and honey. 

Now, that’s the kind of attitude that it takes for a successful program in the church, no matter what, and particularly having to do with children and youth.

But you’re not going to get to the end of the tunnel by sitting there midway in the dark, waiting for somebody to carry you out. And you’re not going to have a successful children's program, if you don’t put some effort into it yourself. If there isn’t a portion of every week that you have set aside to be actually helpful in the children’s and youth program of your church, so that you can become an asset and not a liability.

It’s just that some simple.

Where are the kids?  The answer is clear: Where are YOU?

Photographs and text: Copyright © 2021, John A. Dalles.  All rights reserved.