How Did You and Your Spouse Meet?

It is a pretty well-known story among our family but I am glad to share it here.

When I was being called to First Presbyterian Church of South Bend in 1982, there were 9 people on the search committee. Judy’s dad was one of them.  So I got to know him long before I met Judy.  Then in the first month I was in South Bend, each of the members of the search committee were charged with the responsibility of asking me to some event, dinner, lunch, etc.  Dottie and Don invited me to a picnic in the park, the park being the one you can walk to from “Mayor Pete’s” house in South Bend.

At the lunch, which was delicious, Dottie talked about her oldest daughter Donna who was married to Mike and lived in LaGrange, Georgia with their dog Debit.  For about 20 minutes, at least.  So much so that by the time the conversing about Donna was over, I felt that I could have picked her out of a lineup, even though I had never met her in person.  Then, Dottie shifted the conversation to her youngest daughter, Karen, who was soon to be married to Ken, and they were going to live in Muskegon, Michigan.  Again, there was a lot of conversation about Karen. 

After that Dottie said, “And I have another daughter…”  That was it.  Not her name, not the fact that she lived IN TOWN, not the fact that she was a member of the church, and not the fact that she was serving as a DEACON at that moment.

Apparently Dottie went home and then called Judy and said, “You’ve got to meet the new minister, he’s darling.”  To which Judy replied, “Mom, I am not going to date a minister…”  Well, you see how that tuned out.  Never say never.

Fast forward to a month or so later, September 13 (my birthday).  When I went to my very first Deacon’s meeting at the church.  There we were in the Board Room at the long executive style conference table, with me at one end, and way down at the other end, this cute redhead.  The deacons all told me their names.  And that was when I found out that Judy was the secretary of the Deacons, and more importantly, Don and Dottie’s mysterious “other daughter”.  

Well, I thought to myself, I have to get to know this girl.

So after the meeting was over, the officers stayed for a few minutes to go over something that I have since forgotten, and then as we were heading upstairs and to the parking lot, I said to Judy, “How about stopping at my apartment on your way home for a Coke.”  Which she agreed to.  She says that as she followed my car there, she kept thinking to herself that her parent would die if they knew she was going to my apartment.

Once there, I put out some cheese and crackers and offered Judy some Drambuie, (not the Coke I had mentioned).  I guess that, and the fact that I had “real furniture” and not dorm type plastic crates, was kind of impressive.  We enjoyed the refreshments, and as we did, we talked about lots of things, mostly about what was important to us in life, but we also discovered that both of us had been going to Bethany Beach for summer vacation, for years, and probably passed each other without knowing it, there.  Of course, since one of us is five years older than the other (I will not say which), probably neither would have paid it much attention back then.

The upshot of that first meeting is that we soon had a first date and before long were both feeling that this was something very special indeed.  But neither of us wanted to admit it because we were waiting for “the other shoe to drop”, in other words, to find out what was “wrong” with the other person. 

Well that never happened, and the rest is history.

Judy would add a P.S. that many years later, after both John and Anne were elementary age, she called her mother and told her she was right!

Dottie answered, "What made you think I hadn't figured that out?"

Judy replied, "I know.  But I thought you should hear at least once from your child that you were.  This is that one time..."  (!)

(Photos from New Year's Day, 2020, here in Pittsburgh).

Remembering Lee M Belknap

Yesterday Judy and I went to say farewell to a dear friend.  Lee M. Belknap was Judy's minister of music growing up at First Presbyterian Church in South Bend, Indiana.  He was also my colleague when I served that church as associate pastor in the years 1982 through 1987.  We both have so many dear memories of this good man and faithful servant of the Lord.  It was a tender and special day yesterday.

The memorial service was held in Lake Wales, so we drove down in the morning, and arrived with some time to catch our breath before going into the church for worship.  As one might expect, the Sanctuary was still adorned for the Christmas season, with two trees in the Chancel filled with white Chrismon ornaments, made out of satin, like small pillows, and very attractive.  Atop each of the trees was a descending dove, made of pearl beads.

The family were gathered together in the front row.  At one point in the worship service both of Lee's children spoke, Cherry and Kurt.  Judy grew up with them both, sharing junior choir, Sunday School and Camp Redbud memories that go way back.  They both spoke eloquently about their father and their mother Marie as well, who entered the Church Triumphant 14 years ago.  We sang a number of hymns as you would guess, since we were honoring a man who spent his life leading choirs and bell choirs, and teaching vocal and instrumental music.  The organist also played some favorite hymns and selections of Lee's, including Handel's Largo.

We were last in the receiving line, and so missed the chance to visit with the only other representatives of First Presbyterian Church of South Bend, who must have been at the very front, and scooted out before we could catch their eye.  But we did have a chance to visit with Kurt and Cherry and their families, and they talked about Marie and Judy's mom, Dottie, teaching Sunday School when they were very young, as well as about Lee and choir.  At one point the two of them plus Judy sang a rousing rendition of a song called "Announcements!" that Lee had taught them, back in Indiana.  I wish I had had my camera ready for a video of that!

Lee and I had many a great conversation over they years, and thoroughly enjoyed working together.  In retirement, he loved being part of a church that offered great music in praising God.  As we drove back home we reflected on many moments from those days, as well as from yesterday, and felt so blessed and thankful to have shared a part of the journey with Lee, Marie and their family.